Unfourtenetly, my dating history has been less than pleasant and filled with turbulences. I have known multiple toxic relationships of various natures in my life and couldn't seem to get out of a vicious cycle of toxicity. Most of these relationships have left me deeply hurt, angry, and completely altered my view of the world and other people. For years, I have been bitter about the way these men treated me and the state they have left me in - I was obsessing over it. I wanted to show them how I've improved, how they didn't affect me anymore, I wanted to show them off, to show them I was better off without them - I wanted revenge. At first, that thought made so much sense in my head. However, the more time passed, and as I look back on these thoughts, it got me thinking - is revenge ever justified?
"For years, I have been bitter about the way these men treated me and the state they have left me in - I was obsessing over it... I wanted revenge."
Often, in movies and TV shows, revenge is what motivates the protagonist into action. It is romanticized and presented as the fix to all of its issues and hardships. Sometimes, it does just that, while on other times, the revenge plot gets tangled, leaving the protagonist to regret it. I didn't know where I would fit in this arc. Would I live up to regret the revenge I spent days fantasizing? Or would it be everything I dreamed it would be? Would it be just like I visioned it in my head? Or would it go wrong or leave me feeling guilty and disappointed? For a while, I was hesitant about sharing my feelings with others before eventually confiding in my trusted ones. Their responses were also divided.
As my own mind and thoughts, some of my friends were for the revenge, while others could not understand how I would even consider it. One of the arguments raised in my discussions with my friends was that revenge would make me as bad as them, as bad as the people that did me wrong. Those opposed, who supported an act of revenge, said that there is a major difference between hurting the innocent (me in the scenario) and hurting somebody who hurt you before to remove some of the pain they caused you. Another point my friends made was that revenge helps no one and makes no one feel better. Again, some of my friends opposed that statement and said that it is a matter of personal preferences - while some are against revenge, others, under the right circumstances or following hurtful behavior, feel the need for it.