If you’ve ever read one of my entries in the past, you probably know by now that I’ve had my fair share of struggles when it comes to my romantic life. I’ve had the questionable pleasure of being through more toxic relationships than I can count on one hand. Unfortunately, back then, I didn’t understand how to move on from it, how to not take it personally. This feeling has only caused me to live in a never-ending circle - going from one toxic relationship to the next, without learning or evolving from them. Going through that, I never want anyone else to feel this way. So, I collected a few mantras that I think are important to remember when in a toxic relationship, so that unlike me, you can get out of it.
"I was going from one toxic relationship to the next, without learning or evolving from them."
The first thing that I want you to remember is that you are not the way that they make you feel. You are not what they made you out to be, the things they said about you, or the lies that they made you believe were true to you. You are not the pain that they inflicted in you with their words or the scars that they left behind in you. This person knew exactly what to say and do to you to hurt you, and they aren’t afraid of doing it. It gives them control over you, and they love this feeling. That is why you have to remember that by allowing them to get to you, to bring you down, you are still giving them the power. The only way to take back the power is to remind yourself of who you truly are.
Another important thing to remember is that you are not the one to blame. You are not the reason any of this happened. It isn’t something that you said or did that made this, and the other way around. There was nothing you did that set this relationship to fail - it isn’t on you. Toxic and unhealthy relationships reach their natural conclusion eventually, it’s inevitable. You did whatever you could to make this relationship work, you gave it everything you had. They might tell you that it is on you, that you didn’t try hard enough to make it work. In these times, please look back at your relationship, and remind yourself of all these times you went the extra mile, everything you have done to help it survive, the time you carried this relationship on your own. Remember all that you gave and gave while they kept taking. So no, you are not the one to blame for the crumbling of this relationship.