20 Something
July 1, 2019
Claire Miles

It’s coming. My 30th birthday is this weekend. I’ve imagined the 30-year-old version of me many times. I envisioned a woman who had it all figured out, a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. The truth is it’s not me now, and it never was. You don’t have to be the poster 30-year-old, you have to give 30 your own definition and meaning.

I came across this song lately. 20 Something by SZA. I found myself relating to the words of the song on a whole other level. First, I encourage you to listen to the song, it’s amazing! Second, I had to share a few lyrics that especially struck me with you:

“20 something, all alone still
Not a thing in my name
Ain’t got nothin’, runnin’ from love
Only know fear”

These lyrics got me thinking about what do I have to offer. So, before I turn 30, I want to feel like I have something to my name, like I helped others in whatever way I can. I decided to share 30 lessons I’ve learned in my (almost) 30 years. Are you ready? Here we go.

  1. Never chase a bus or…a guy – there’s always another one coming, patience is key
  2. Love comes when you put it out to the universe and let it do its work.
  3. Don’t hold on to grudges and resentment – as they say, holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
  4. Trust your gut.
  5. You grow from every choice, no matter the result.
  6. Be yourself! This is the only way to ensure a life lived with fulfillment and without regrets.
  7. Don’t try to please others, only yourself. Living by others expectations prevents you from becoming your own person
  8. Don’t let the opinions of others affect or determine your own life choices.
  9. Never be afraid to stand your ground in a relationship. If your friends/ partner really love and respect you, they will accept it, and you’ll move past it together.
  10. Life’s too short to stay in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship, so just end it.
  11. In good relationships, there is no playing games. People can’t know what you’re thinking and feeling, so speak up your mind. People who truly love you will want to hear what you have to say.
  12. Sometimes we just want to feel bad without having positive cliches thrown our way
  13. Being sweet to everyone all the time is exhausting and not rewarding.
  14. Failures are normal, as you learn and grow from them.
  15. Get rid of the drama in your life, it results in stress that you can live better without. If someone in your life is hurting you or pushes you to the edge, leave them out of your life. Don’t worry about them, worry about your health.
  16. Dance like nobody’s watching. Yes, it’s cheesy, I know, but it’s true. Don’t restrict this to only dancing, but take it as a life motto. Live without care of what others will think. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  17. Know to apologize if needed. If you hurt someone you care deeply about, apologize to them, it doesn’t take away from your value or make others think less of you.
  18. However, don’t say sorry when you don’t mean it.
  19. It’s okay to admit that you don’t know something. We are all learning new things all the time. You don’t have all the answers, and that is ok.
  20. Learn how to say ‘no’. It’s really important to know how to say no, as it helps you do things you actually want to do with your time. Your time is valuable, always, no matter who you are.
  21. Express gratitude, it will make you feel better. Acknowledge what you have, and appreciate it.
  22. Instagram is not real life.
  23. Put down the phone once in a while. Live life. Interact with the outside world. Read. There are plenty of other things to do.
  24. Breathe. Daily. Even if only for a minute.
  25. Drop your ego.
  26. Be your own best friend. If you can’t find a friend within, you won’t be able to befriend others. This might lead to a lack of understanding towards what is a healthy relationship.
  27. Your family is everything! Cherish them and keep them close. Surprise, surprise, everything family is dysfunctional, so don’t think yours is out of the ordinary. Despite everything that might be happening, embrace your family. They love you unconditionally.
  28. Set goals, reach them, and enjoy the success. However, don’t worry only about the future and the end, enjoy the present and the process.
  29. Aging is a gift and a privilege. Consider every sign of aging a gift as not everyone lives long enough to experience them.
  30. Age is really just a number. Unlike what you might think, not every woman is frightened of aging. I’m at peace with myself and my age and look forward to having the best time I can and be the best version of myself I can be, during my 30s.
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