A Part of Me
April 16, 2020
Ariella Jacobs

When you broke up with me and left all of a sudden, I was devastated. For months all I attempted to do was block you out of my memory. I wanted to move on. In most days, I felt like it worked, felt I was over you. But some other times, especially when it was late at night, something changed. Suddenly, I felt like I was not over you anymore. I just couldn’t get you out of my head. Yes, I am not crying about you anymore. And yes, I moved on and am in a great new relationship. But when I come across a memory you left me with, or a song or a TV show we used to talk about pops up, I am reminded of you and feel a little hurt again.

Getty Images/ Sarah Kastner/ STOCK4B-RF

At first, I hated the fact that I was feeling this way. Why couldn’t I forget you and move on completely? Yes, I loved you in the past, but I don’t anymore. With time, although never completely forgotten, things got better. With time, everything that reminded me of you, hurt a little less. With time, I learned more and more to accept that you will forever be a part of me. With time, I learned how to come to terms with this feeling. I used to think that we must block out our former lovers, that we mustn’t remember them. Otherwise, I used to think, we are doing our current partner an injustice. However, with time, my perspective changed. You shouldn’t deny or regress your past. You meet someone and somehow they become a part of you; Even if you let each other go and even if you become strangers later on. They will still always be a part of you. No matter what.

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