A Problem Shared
February 3, 2022
Jade Kerr

Talking about feelings isn’t easy for everyone, and it most certainly doesn’t come naturally for me. I’ve never understood how some people are able to open up so quickly and easily. I’ve always been kind of envious of those people, but at the same time, I kind of take pride in being a private person. Or at least I used to.

 

I never really saw the point of sharing what was on my mind. I’ve always been determined to solve things on my own. Talking about a problem isn’t going to fix it, so why bother. The way I saw it, I was independent, strong, and didn’t need help from anyone. I guess I’d sort of developed a defense mechanism, the fewer people know about me, the less vulnerable I am and the less likely I am to get hurt. But this wasn’t always true, because as I know now, life doesn’t work that way. While I do believe that this part of my personality did indeed make me a more resilient person, I am aware that’s not an ideal way to live. Sharing our vulnerabilities with other people is what connects us, and shares our fragile states as humans with one another. I was always afraid that if people knew my issues, they would see me differently and treat me differently, and I didn’t want that.

 

Two women enjoying hot drink having conversation

Getty Images/DigitalVision/10’000 Hours

 

It wasn’t until I started opening up did I realize how wrong I was. We can often get caught up in our heads, and forget that other people are also just people. Opening up about my problems taught me that I’m not alone, other people have similar problems too. Connecting with someone who is or has gone through the same thing, is an extremely powerful feeling. Comfort from someone who doesn’t understand, no matter how close they are, bears nothing in comparison to comfort from someone who has experienced something similar. Learning to talk about my problems and share with people has taught me to communicate better in general. It’s made me feel less ‘alone’ with my troubles because suddenly there were people who understood what I was going through. And in turn, it’s helped me to reach out to people in order to provide them support as well. Even though it’s still difficult sometimes, it’s 100% worth it in the end.

 

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