As I unloaded here way too much in the past few months, I started working at a new job in September. Until recently, I couldn’t stand it. All I wanted was to get it over with and move on with my life. However, recent events, such as the possibility of my department shutting down, granted me a different point of view.
Now, that I feel the end of this period approaching, I finally get to appreciate it. I see how blessed I am that I get to work with my colleagues. Even though we had our differences in the past, I finally get to see how amazing they all are; how their company helped carry me through this hard time in my life. I finally understand what an amazing job I have. Finally, I enjoy my job.
So, instead of having difficulties with my job, I now find myself with the trouble of accepting it may come to an end soon. As much as I tough beginnings are hard, endings are much harder. By the time the hard part of the beginning is over, by the time you connect with your colleagues, you have to say goodbye to them? It seems so hard and unfair, doesn’t it?
Accepting that all things must come to an end is never easy, especially when the thing in question is one we enjoy. While I thought all I wanted was to move on, even if it means not having a plan ahead, I find myself fear the future. At the moment, all I want is for things to remain the same. However, I can’t help but wonder if that is what I really want.
I suspect that the fear of the unknown, the fear of living the familiar, the fear of starting all over again, is controlling my emotions and desires. While I love the people I work with, continuing in my current position seems impossible to me. I have to accept that all things must come to an end, whether good or bad. While my future is unknown, it doesn’t mean I have to settle or suffer. No matter how hard it is to say goodbye to this chapter of my life, I have to think about my wishes and hopes. Because if I won’t do it, who will?