Accepting Things That Are Out of Our Control
February 9, 2021
Laura Lee

It is often difficult to accept that certain things in life are out of our control. Refusing to accept this brutal truth can turn people into control freaks – they micromanage, refuse to delegate tasks and try to force other people to change. They believe that if they gain enough control over other people and the situations they find themselves in, they can prevent bad things from happening to them. Others may know that they can’t control everything in life, but they worry about these things anyway. If you find yourself occupied wasting time worrying about things you can’t control, read on, and hopefully, it’ll help.


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Lately, I have found myself worrying about things that are beyond my control. However, instead of trying to gain control over these things, I found myself trying, as much as I could, to avoid things that weren’t certain, things that I couldn’t control. Like with over-controlling every part of your life, avoiding things isn’t a healthy solution as well. So, I searched for some tips on how not to obsess over the things that are out of our control.


The first thing you should do is determine the things that you can control. When you find yourself worrying, take a minute to examine the things you have control over. You can’t prevent a storm from coming, but you can prepare for it. Recognize that, sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude. Next, identify your fears. What are you afraid would happen? Usually, the worst-case scenario isn’t as tragic as you might envision. There’s a good chance you’re stronger than you think. Acknowledging that you can handle the worst-case scenario can help you put your energy into more productive exercises.


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Next, understand the difference between ruminating and problem-solving. Replaying conversations in your head or imagining catastrophic outcomes over and over again isn’t helpful. But solving a problem is. Ask yourself whether your thinking is productive. Are you working on finding a solution? Or are you wasting your time ruminating? Acknowledge that your thoughts aren’t helpful, and get up and go do something else for a few minutes to get your brain focused on something more productive. Last, develop healthy affirmations. Develop a few healthy mantras that will keep you mentally strong. Those sayings will help you combat self-doubt, catastrophic predictions, and endless rumination.


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