Ain’t No Angel
January 7, 2020
Jade Kerr

With the beginning of each new year, I like to set myself a few goals I would like to achieve. I am more than happy to report that, as of recently, I have officially started a process into making one of my New Year’s resolutions my reality. So, without further ado, let me break down all the details.

Throughout my time writing on this site, I have been open about my troubled past in the dating world. After being cheated on multiple times in the past, I had a hard time trusting others. However, after finding myself in a healthy and balanced relationship with my current partner, I was sure it was a thing of the past. Unfourtenely, that wasn’t the case.

Recently, I found myself jealous of his love and affection, jealous of the way he treats others. I started falling back into old habits and behaviors, ones that I thought I managed to set aside. Well, recently, something came into my mind that helped me finally put some of these thoughts to rest.

What I had finally realized is that no one is perfect. Seem trivial, I’m aware, but it is not obvious at all. I tend to think the worst of my self, and I am aware that I am no angel. I am suspicious, jealous, and needy at times, but that makes me who I am. So, what had changed? I realized that my partner is not an angel either. As I said, none of us are perfect.

He too can cross a few lines with his behavior. He can be demanding and overbearing, but that is why I love him. I love him for all of him, his highs and his lows. Now, that I know all the sides of him, I love him even more than who I thought he was before. Him sticking by me through my jealousy, re-assuring me, apologizing and owning up to his mistakes, showed me a lot about who he is.

Excepting that none of us is perfect is a crucial step in achieving my final goal – to trust people again. So, here I go and trust with everything that I have. Here is to hoping I won’t end up disappointed like in the past.

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