When I was in college, I had a weekly tradition of going out with my girlfriends on a girls’ night out. It was our sacred tradition, and we made sure to make it happen. We were a tight group, and we always had a blast together. However, things started to change when one of the girls in our group started dating someone. It is completely logical and normal that someone in a relationship would spend less time with their friends and more with their partner. Nevertheless, that wasn’t what shifted the dynamics of our meetings.
While we missed our friend, the rest of us still got together and met up. Of course, things were different, but we still enjoyed each other and carried on with our tradition. Our friend would come once in a while, but it was usually for a short period of time, and she seemed disengaged. So, when we asked her what would make her feel more comfortable and excited during our meeting, she said she would like to bring her boyfriend. At first, we were hesitant and told her that this is our girls’ night. But, when she didn’t come around, we agreed.
Some of my friends were not so thrilled about a man joyning our girls’ night and claimed that it would change the whole dynamic. But, again, we decided to give it a chance. The first meeting, which we thought would be the only one, went all right, but the dynamic was definitely different. Although we thought this meeting would help her catch up to speed with us, she brought her boyfriend with her to every other meeting afterward. It was like they were inseparable – a package deal. If you made plans with her, he would be with her every time.
Although we supported her and her relationship and just wanted her to be happy – it seemed a bit strange to us. Even when in a couple, you should have your own interests and circle of friends. You should do some things apart – it’s healthy for the relationship! There is no reason for you to be completely dependant on your partner. Of course, it’s fun to spend time together when in a couple, and, logically, you’d see your friends less when in a relationship. At the same time, it’s also healthy to have your own interests, hobbies, and friends, and that doesn’t mean your relationship is any less successful.