Attraction, Explained
May 23, 2018
Ariella Jacobs

Ever wondered why you’re attracted to tall people? Or perhaps you’ve noticed a specific pattern in your dating history? Maybe everyone you’ve ever dated has been really introverted, or they’ve all been blonde?  It may seem like a bizarre coincidence, but there’s actually a science behind why we’re attracted to people, and not others.

According to experts, a big part of the attraction is in fact psychological.  Looking back at biological factors and Darwinism, the survival of the fittest is quite obvious. We mate in order to be protected and have our offspring live on.  But why we may have such a strong attraction to a certain person? That’s a whole other story.

It seems as though many of the factors that play into what people believe to be attractive in romantic partners are formed over time, based on the people we date and our experiences with them. In other cases, attraction can go all the way back to our childhood.

Attraction is often formed by our patterns of experiences in life. We tend to be attracted to the people that replicate experiences or feelings that we had from kind people or people we saw in a positive light as children.  Perhaps when you were young and in a time of distress, a tall person came to comfort you, and in turn, you are now attracted to tall people.

It put the idea in your head that tall people will keep you safe and are better due to that experience.  Our attractions, however, can change over time based on our experiences. Your experiences might lead you to not be attracted to certain qualities that you once were.

As we get older, we don’t appreciate the dating games as much anymore and are often more attracted to honest communication.  Physical characteristics are without a doubt a large factor of attraction, but they are not the only ones. Charisma and personality are very important too.  If someone has a very strong personality, people tend to be attracted to that.

Sometimes opposites attract, but sometimes like attracts like. It works differently for different people.  Attraction is super subjective, what is beautiful to one person may not be to another person. We all see the world through our own eyes.

Your maturity level is also a huge factor. The more mature you are, the more you understand yourself and what you really want. Being mature makes you more interested in what’s inside, rather than a person exterior appearance.  

Attraction isn’t the only factor in a relationship too, there’s a whole lot more to it, and being attracted to someone isn’t always enough to mean they are a good fit for you.

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