I’ve been dealing with a huge dilemma lately. I’m 35, about to turn 36. I have two amazing girls. One is almost 18 and the other is approaching five. I was convinced that I was done and that this part of my life is covered. However, lately, my partner and I have been talking, and we both came to the realization that we wish to have another child. I’ve been going back and forth on this matter. What should I do?

See, If I wish to have more kids, it should be soon. It is well known that women have more trouble getting pregnant as they age. According to Richard Paulson, ob-gyn, fertility rates begin to decline gradually at age 30, more so at 35, and markedly at age 40. It isn’t only getting pregnant which is the issue, but also keeping the pregnancy becomes harder with age.

Besides the medical aspect, my career is another factor in this conflict. Since having my six-year-old, I’ve been getting more and more ahead in my career. I am afraid another pregnancy and maternity leave will jeopardize all the progress I have made. I love my job and I was very fortunate to have a kid at 18 and also find self-fulfillment.

As my career continues to grow, I face potential changes. I may relocate or have to put in long hours, what doesn’t really coincide with having another child. I want to be there to raise my child. I want to be a good mother and a good wife to my husband. I know it’s 2019 and it sounds outdated, but I can’t help for feeling this way. It’s terribly hard choosing between your family and your professional goals.

While some say I act selfishly, it’s important to find self-fulfillment as well. At the end of the day, the world as not as progressed as we wish to believe it is. A lot of women face this unbelievably difficult choice. I still hope that there is a possibility in which I can get the best of both worlds. Trust me that I’ll try my hardest. To everyone who also struggles with this matter, know that you aren’t the only one. I know that I’ll search this through and look for advices from others who have been through this before. I am sure I’ll benefit from it greatly. I wish you all nothing but happiness.