When I was ten years old, my parents sat me down and told me they were getting a divorce. I was one of the only kids in the class whose parents got a divorce, and I was extremely ashamed of that. Being a child of divorce left many scars on me, some of which I would like to share with you today.
I am currently engaged for the third time. Though I love my boyfriend deeply, I am scared of getting married to him. It’s not because it’s my third time and I’m afraid it will go down in flames as well, but rather because of my parents’ divorce. Though today it is more common and less frowned upon, this fear still lives inside of me.
I remember my first engagement and marriage. When they ended in divorce, as I feared for many years, I was devastated. I couldn’t believe it had happened to me too, that I am living my worst nightmare. I think that in a way that experience and that fear contributed to my decision to call off my second wedding.
I did learn a valuable lesson from these experiences. In a way, I think I was able to see my parents’ point of you. It may sound cliché, but divorce is a much better option than staying in an unhappy marriage.
I won’t lie. It is still one of my biggest fears. It is not something that I desire or wish to put my future children through. Luckily, my parents had a friendly divorce, so I can expect no fight or a scene at my wedding. I cannot imagine what it is like to live oppositely.
If you are also a child of divorce, I want you to know you aren’t alone. You aren’t the only one to feel what you are feeling at the moment. I wish you all the best and that you won’t have to go through such a process yourself.