We were all a group of best friends. We did everything together and shared all our exciting, and even less than exciting news with each other.  Two of us were in relationships, but the other three of us were single. So it was fine, it all balanced out. Sometimes we would be all of us at the brunch table, and if the girlfriends had boyfriend commitments it would always work out to be at least a few of us.  And I could bitch with my friends about how they didn’t show up. My group of friends was like the boyfriend I never had.

I could count on them for everything, they were always there for me, and I spent my evenings and weekends with them. If I wasn’t with them, then I was talking to them and planning our next outing. I was happy for them when the single ones would meet a guy, but secretly sort of happy also when it didn’t work out because starting to have feelings for someone also shifted their priorities and left me with more time alone.  Sorry for being brutally selfish, but that’s the truth. Third wheeling a date is never fun.

Somehow, the other two single friends, after four years also fell in love and entered serious relationships. And somehow, I did not. I remain here single. I know my friends still care about me and love me, but nothing is the same. I feel alone and abandoned. They no longer call me to tell me all the details of their day or to ask me for advice, and when I call them, they’ve got a whole lot less patience than they used to.

I know that they feel bad for me, they pity me, tell me it will be ok and that I will find my prince charming soon. But I haven’t yet, and it’s really hard being the only single one in the group. I try not to be angry at them, or to be a burden because ultimately I do see how happy they are and know that finding love wasn’t easy for them either. I guess I just wish they could still find the same amount of time for me and that we could have all been on the same timeline forever.