I have a great friend who separated from her partner of many years recently. As you all may know, when you’re in a relationship, you tend to grow apart from your friends. Not intentionally, it just happens. You spend more time with your partner than with your friends, you each go in your different direction. So, when her relationship ended, she sought the companion of her friends, of us, to help her through this. There are a lot of things I learned about this situation after the fact – after we finally reconnected – and for that, I feel guilty. Before I continue, just a disclaimer that these events happened pre-quarantine. So, here’s what happened.
When we met, she told me how alone she felt. She didn’t know who to reach out to as each of us had our own thing going on. She, who had just come out of a years-long relationship, didn’t know where to turn as each of us, her friends, were in our lane of jobs and relationships. She felt her life had reached a holt, while we were living our seemingly active and busy lives. She felt like she had no one t turn to, as she doesn’t have any siblings and was, for some reason, worried about reaching out to us, scared to “bother” us.
When she told me all of this weeks later, it saddened me deeply. I couldn’t understand why she was so worried about approaching me. But then, I got to think about it a bit more. When each of us went in her different way in terms of schools, jobs, relationships, etc., we increasingly lost touch with one another. Hearing how she was afraid to contact me was a wake-up call for me. I love my friend, and yet she was so unsure of it that she didn’t feel comfortable enough to contact me at a time of need. A day after our meeting, I texted her, saying that no matter where we both are in life, I want her to know I love her and am always here for her. And that is what it’s all about. While it’s inevitable that you’ll walk in different paths, let your friends know that you’ll always be there for them, no matter what. Keep your friends close, because we all need a friend.