When I was in high school, I wasn’t the most popular girl. However, there was this one girl who I considered to be my best friend. I remember this one day in which the students decided it was a good idea to conclude sociometry (I have no idea why). When I looked over at my friend’s page, I saw in the first place, where I expected to find my name, I found a different girl’s name.

I was so hurt. Finding out that your feelings to someone else aren’t reciprocated is painful. I remember looking back at my relationship with her. I never saw it coming, never expected it. I thought she had considered me her best friend, that she saw me as I saw her.

I remember I wanted to talk to her about it but thankfully didn’t. Now, I can understand even better why this was not a good idea. This conversation cannot end well. Right, it gets off your chest, but the response could break you. This talk, other than being extremely awkward, can end your friendship. And although I was hurt, I didn’t want to throw away our friendship.

At moments like this, we have to think about our friendship. We have to ask ourselves why do we consider this person to be our best friend. Does she care for you as you care for her? Does she support you as you support her?

I found that my answers to these questions weren’t as I expected them to be. So, I stopped giving her the best friend treatment. If she is taking for granted your connection, everything you give her, you, show her that it isn’t something that will be available for her use all the time.

So, if you struggle with this issue as well, know that you’ll meet other people in the years to come, I promise!