It was my first time braving the world of dating apps. I was nervous, and not really sure what I was getting myself into. I didn’t really know what I was looking for either, I knew I wasn’t necessarily looking for a long-term thing, but I also wasn’t looking for a one-night stand. I spoke with a few ‘more experienced’ friends and decided to download two apps. For the record, I’m extremely self-conscious and am really bad at talking about myself. So, in a nutshell, not a great package deal for blindly flirting with strangers. I tried to choose pictures that were somewhat flattering but also showed my down-to-earth side. I was adamant about not leaving my bio blank, so went with some nerdy jokes that would clearly portray my socially awkward personality.

With my profiles set up, it was time to start swiping. I was soon addicted to the motion, until my first match. I started chatting with this guy, let’s call him Gavin, and we really hit it off. We covered the usual small talk; what we’re doing in life, our interests etc, all laced with some nerdy flirting and casual teasing. When he asked me to go for drinks the next night, my tummy fluttered, and I nervously agreed to go. The next evening, I had to mentally prepare myself. I was really excited, he seemed cute, and I couldn’t believe my luck at matching so quickly. When I met him at the bar within an instant I felt deflated. There was nothing wrong per se, but he just didn’t seem to be the same charismatic guy I was chatting to the night before. As the date went on, I began to feel uneasy; it was clear as daylight (at least to me) that we had nothing in common. Fast forward through a refusal to let him come back to my apartment for ‘a cup of coffee’ and an awkward goodbye kiss, I finally escaped.

Getty Images/JGI/Jamie Grill

After debriefing with my best friend when I got home, we dubbed this ‘The Gavin Effect’. This is when you have a great connection with someone online, but in person, there’s just no chemistry. Whenever I would tell her about a great guy I was chatting to, we’d make sure I didn’t get my hopes up too high. “Don’t forget, The Gavin Effect, wait until you meet in person!”