As I shared with you a while ago, my partner and I are considering having another child together. While we still have some second thoughts, we have tried a couple of times, to no success. I have two daughters, who are the biggest blessing of my life. I love being a mother and desperately wish to expand our family.

As I revealed to you in the past, I have to also consider how another pregnancy would affect my career. I am getting more and more ahead of my career, and am afraid that another pregnancy and maternity leave will put all the progress I have made to waste.

However, since the decision was put on the table, I have begun wanting this more than anything. As a result, it has been extremely hard for me to be around my pregnant friends. In a twisted and unfortunate turn of events, a lot of my closest friends are expecting at the moment.

Don’t get me wrong; I am happy and excited for my friends. However, seeing them and the amazing change their body is going through, is a constant reminder of where I could have been if any of my attempts would have come through. I don’t want to cut myself off socially, but I find it very painful to see such abundant fertility around me.

This is something I need to sort with myself. I truly love my friends and want to be there for them at this amazing time, but at the same time, I need to look after myself. I promise to keep you updated on any further developments.