In quite a few of the relationships I’ve had throughout my life, I gave much more than I received. In general, I’m such a person. I am a giver. I am a people pleaser. I am willing to help and lend a hand whenever and however I can – sometimes to a fault. Because eventually, sometimes, I end up feeling like I am being used. Feeling exhausted and defeated at the end of the day and not feeling as though these people will do the same for you. There is a problem with putting your needs and wants on hold to help others when it leaves you feeling resentful and hateful.
I’ve had people in my life who I have been friends with for years. I have gone above and beyond for them, been there for them whenever they needed me, rushed to their side. But, what does that leave me with? What am I left feeling like at the end of the day? I feel resentful. I feel like I’m constantly giving to the friendship while the other side is only taking. It took me some time and reflection, but it finally hit me – I need to stop choosing people who aren’t choosing me.
I have definitely, at a certain point in time, loved others more than I loved myself. Found more time for them than I did for myself. I’ve allowed others to use me, to treat me wrong – I did these things because these were people that I loved, who I believed loved me the same way back. So, while I might have loved them, they probably forgot to love me back. It made me feel used, stupid, hurt. This kind of relationship means nothing. You need people around you that reciprocate the energy and love that you show them. If you are in a friendship, or any sort of relationship, in which you feel like you are being used – take a step back. Otherwise, you might end up feeling hateful. It is time to put yourself first and choose people who choose you too. I know it’s hard, but it is crucial for you and your mental health. Choose you. You deserve it.