Don’t Want To Play It Safe
November 3, 2020
Alexandra Wade

In the past, when it came to my romantic relationships, I played it all very safe. I didn’t rush into anything and took my time between every relationship. I think this behavior started after I’ve been burned in the past by a few of my exes. After an ex of mine especially hurt me, I didn’t think that I could ever go back into the dating scene. I was hesitant about every move I made and was afraid that maybe love was completely off the table for me.

So, I stayed away from anything that might cause me this pain again. And, if I attempted anything in this field, it was in baby steps, playing it safe. As I said, I didn’t rush into anything and was calculated about every decision I made. I only agreed to go on dates with people that I had gotten to know for a while before, and when things seemed to be getting a bit more serious, I dipped. At this point, I had already gotten used to this system, and although I craved something real and serious, I couldn’t bring myself to take that jump.

After a while of this safe behavior, it finally caught up to me that it wasn’t working for me. While it kept me safe from more hurt and pain, I was craving more. I wanted to love, I wanted a relationship, a partnership, and I wasn’t getting it with this cautious behavior. So, I decided it was time for me to get back in the game. It didn’t happen in a second but was a process. Slowly, I got back into the dating scene with the intention of daring, of giving it my all. I was ready to take the risk, to put my heart on the line in the hopes of falling in love again, even with the risk of getting hurt. I was done playing it safe – I was ready to fall in love again.

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