As you may already know, I’m getting married soon. Planning a wedding is a very stressful process and is filled with many conflicts. While some are minor, some can be extreme. I am facing a very dramatic decision and it’s not easy. My sister and I don’t have the best relationship, to put in mildly. She is constantly mean and rude towards me and my fiancé, and it has come to a point in which I cannot spend time with her. Every time we are together I feel anxious and upset. As a result, I am very hesitant about making her my maid of honor.

I know I might break all rules of etiquette by going in this route, but honestly, I think it’ll be the healthier option for me. I am considering appointing my best friend from childhood for the role, but still, fear the reaction. This is supposed to be my special day, my happy day, my wedding day. Since I’m convinced this relationship is going to last, I know this is a day I’ll remember forever. I want this memory to be a happy one.

Unfourtenetly, the state of my relationship with my sister is beyond repair. Ever since childhood, I felt she was condescending and judgmental towards me. She constantly, to this day, finds every opportunity to belittle me and tell me how I let her down. Why should I be subjected to her awful behavior on such a happy day?

I know that no matter what I’ll say or how I’ll say it, my sister, and possibly parents, will give me a hard time. It’s like there is no way out of this dilemma. Both possible outcomes will lead to a scene that I don’t think I can handle. The first, choosing my life-long friend to be my maid of honor, will lead to a huge drama within my family. The second, choosing my sister as my maid of honor might be the “proper” thing to do but will spoil the enjoyment of my special day. Honestly, I can’t decide which one is worse.

I have to sleep on this matter and take my time to make this decision. This isn’t something I can take lightly as my wedding day is on the line. I just want to get it out of the way, because I am feeling stressed and anxious as a result. I might be delusional, but I still hope I can find a way out of this mess that will sit well with everyone. Wish me luck, I’m gonna need it.