It’s so strange going from being best friends with someone to a place where you are strangers and there is no other choice but to drown that person in your memories. It’s tough because friends and family with good intent will try to talk rational reasons into why you’re better off without that person, why it was meant to be, and how better things will come. As much as you may internalize these thoughts and speak them to yourself over and over, the heart simply cannot forget how hard it loved and how blissful it was.
Suddenly, you feel like a stranger in the same world that was around you all along and nothing quite makes sense as it used to. You grasp and cling at the pieces that were broken but each one feels like a shard of glass that does nothing but make you bleed even more. People tell you that time heals all wounds and you want to believe that it’s true but day after day goes by and it feels like you are living a pretend life that’s just in the meantime.
On the flip side, the journey of a breakup is more than anything a journey of self-discovery. All your fears flood you inescapably and you have no choice but to deal with each one of them single-handedly. You really get to know yourself and how you cope in the face of adversity. The feeling of lacking control is haunting but it makes you ponder- did you really ever have control in the first place? After all, you can only choose to appreciate the experience that life has given you and humble yourself with the force of nature that is exponentially greater than your own. Letting go and breathing through the pain is okay, hoping that what’s meant for you will find you (even if it may feel like a lie) is a spiritual journey that will bring you peace.