When I was in high school, I had a little falling out with a good friend of mine. It all stemmed from the fact that I was very jealous of her. It was a combination of two factors: one – she got way better grades than me, and second – she came from a more financially stable home and afforded things I could only dream of. Jealousy led me to be extremely competitive with my friend.

Seeing her get those grades, or sport a new bag, drove me crazy. I envied what she had, and she made me feel inferior and of no worth. We were still friends, but it drove a wedge between us. As I said, it made me feel super competitive. I always wanted to beat her, to do everything better but wasn’t able to.

I remember the day in which I finally got a higher score on a test. I felt so proud like I finally did it. However, as I looked back on the situation a few years later, I realized that my feelings were completely normal. There is always competition between friends.

At the end of the day, the competition motivated me to work harder to achieve my goals. It was the kick I needed back then to put more effort into my studies. American writer Gore Vidal said: “Every time a friend succeeds something inside me dies.” I believe this sentence to be very accurate.

The way I see it is that competition with the people close to you isn’t always a bad thing. The difference between healthy and unhealthy competition is a subject for a different discussion, however. The fact that you are competitive with your friend shouldn’t lead to you hating them, it shouldn’t affect your love towards them. Instead, look at your friends as an inspiration, aspire to get to what they have.

Friends make you work harder, they motivate you, and you should be thankful for that.