I Wasn’t The Only One Affected
November 19, 2019
Jade Kerr

I‘ve had my fair share of experience in the dating world. Not all of it was good. I was cheated on more than once. And I am not proud to admit it, but I had also cheated on someone. Once. While it was a painful experience and one I deeply regret, it did teach me a valuable lesson.

 

I know there are no accuses. However, I will admit that my relationship with that guy started on a weird note. I had just broken up with my previous boyfriend after a couple of years of commitment. That ex-boyfriend cheated on me, and because of how much I loved him, I forgave him. However, that did not stop him from cheating on me yet again.

 

I rushed into another relationship even though I wasn’t ready for it. I was hasty and confused. I was still hurting. I was a gloomy and broken version of myself. Plus, because of what had just happened to me, I was very insecure. Though I didn’t see it then, I never gave the relationship a real shot.

 

Despite everything, I stayed in the relationship. My thoughts and feelings were all over the place, and I thought it was the right thing for me. I thought that being alone would be more painful than the dysfunctional relationship I was in. I stayed in that relationship out of fear. A fear so strong it made me justify cheating.

 

After I had done the did, I fell apart. I am ashamed to admit that I didn’t come clean about my actions for a few months after it. As I said, there are no excuses, but I believe that if I had really loved myself or cared enough about him, I wouldn’t have done what I did.

 

Since then, I had many years to reflect on what I did. What I had realized is that my pain was hurting others.  I was hurting, and I didn’t allow myself to fully digest it. As a result, I acted out. I hurt people around me, people who didn’t deserve it. I involved everyone in my mess and didn’t think of the possible consequences.

 

Breakups are never easy. We have to tie the loose ends and make sure we digested everything that had happened. Don’t rush into anything. Do it not only for yourself but also for the people around you.

 

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