I know that I should be grateful for all the incredible opportunities that I’ve been fortunate enough to have, but there are days where I feel like the success is so lonely….
I feel like everything in the world is moving all around me, and I am stuck right here, in the very same place, watching as life passes by. Every day of my life is dedicated to work. There are some people who would say that it’s truly commendable.
But that’s not what I need. I don’t want to be complimented any more. I am so, so, jealous of those people who know how to separate work from play. Where is the line between between the point where you can feel blessed to be following your dreams, and where you feel like good things can be too much.
When did passion became a chore? I can’t even think about a life where I am not working during every waking second to make my dreams come true. Lately, I have been doing so much more than just dreaming, and it terrifies me. I don’t even know what I want from life anymore.
Sometimes, I try to imagine my life and how different it could have been if I chose a different path. Maybe I wouldn’t still be living at home and swamped with debt. Maybe I would have seen a whole lot more of the world. Maybe I would have found life.
Part of me wants to stop everything, and just start everything over.
A fresh start. I’m ready for that.