My boyfriend is the perfect man. He is funny, respectful, successful, loyal, lovable, loving – everything I ever wanted. However, sometimes I have to wonder if the love he is displaying is exclusive – I find myself jealous of the people in his life. See, my boyfriend is very beloved and is naturally charming, and at times flirty. I feel like I am falling to my old toxic behaviors and am becoming the type of girlfriend I despise being.
I am starting to resent myself for the comments I make after his interactions with others. In response to my comments, my boyfriend tells me that it is like I don’t trust him. After looking deep into myself and asking myself that question, I realized that I do not trust him, and maybe I have every reason to.
While he is an amazing man and person, his often flirty approach can be over the top. I do trust him and am certain that he will remain loyal to me, but that behavior can drive me crazy. I think his naturally flirty behavior can drive anyone out of their mind from jealousy.
Also, as some of you may know, I don’t have the easiest of histories. I’ve been cheated on multiple times in the past. It made me very suspicious and cautious when it comes to my love life. After letting down my guards again, and making myself vulnerable – after falling in love again – I don’t want to have my heart broken again.
I think I need to sit my boyfriend down and have a serious talk with him about this issue. We are set to wed soon, and this is something I wish to sort out before that. I believe in our relationship, and believe it is strong enough to survive this, Here is to hoping I won’t be proven wrong.