When I was younger, I was obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship. To me, it was the ideal state. Since high school, I always had a boyfriend, moving from one relationship to the next. I did not know myself without someone next to me. So, when I found myself single towards the end of my twenties, I rushed into a relationship, just so that I won’t be alone.
There is an important lesson hidden between these lines. You should never get into a relationship just because you are afraid of being alone. Unfourtenetly, I learned this valuable lesson when it was too late. There is a whole life outside of the dating world, and you don’t need a relationship to define you. You define you.
It goes without saying that the relationship was a bad one. Rushing into something is a sure recipe for disaster. Let me clarify; it wasn’t as if I hopped on the first man I saw and got in a relationship with him. I did, however, got in a relationship with a guy I didn’t bother to get to know. The foundation we had wasn’t strong for a relationship, but I ignored the signs.
Our values and views didn’t match. We fought about everything and anything, and yet, I stayed; I stayed because I feared to be alone. I was worried afraid of being alone with myself. However, after a few months together, I finally had enough. After we had a huge fight, I finally saw how he was treating me all this time. So, I broke things off with him, and for the first time in my life, I was single.
Being single was probably one of the best things that happened to me. Thanks to it, I was able to take some time and discover myself, work on myself. It helped me see myself in a different, more positive light. As a matter of fact, I have this to thank for my fiancé. Thanks to my time alone, I discovered what I want and what I am looking for. All of it led me to my current relationship with my fiancé, which is healthy and supportive.
What I am trying to say at the end of the day is that you shouldn’t fear to be alone. It is from these times that we grow and develop, so allow yourself to go through that.