As much as we all loved watching Sex and the City, we often complain about how incredibly unrealistic it is. This is most certainly this true, although to be honest in the past few years I began to live a life that seemed a whole lot like Carrie Bradshaw’s (well sort of).  

I’m a writer in my late twenties, living alone in New York City. I have the most perfect dream apartment with a walk-in closet (smaller than Carries TBH) and a doorman.  I went through a great deal of struggles to get to the place I am today, but the real difference between Carrie and I? I left my version of Mr. Big for good.

I never had a massive banner of my face on a bus, nor did I have a small banner of my face on anywhere. However, my money does come from my words, a mixture of my articles and books. I am completely self-made and don’t rely on anyone other than myself.

Technically I’m not really a sex columnist, however, I do write about relationships, dating, and sex here and there.  And of course, there are tons of other major differences between Carrie and I. As a woman part of an ethnic minority, I’ve dealt with inequalities my entire life and have been bullied for my race ever since I was a little girl. Oh and don’t mention that my shoe collection doesn’t even come close to hers.

So what I can tell you that Carrie didn’t? Pursue your dreams and leave your Mr. Big. Just like Carrie, I’ve had no shortage of men that were too emotionally unavailable or narcissist.  I’ve also had a few what you can call Mr. Big’s.

Mr. Big is emotionally unavailable and toxic, however, he’s incredibly charismatic.  He’s been so glorified that women idealize this relationship and have started to believe that with love must come pain.

So instead of the tumultuous fairytale romance that eventually ended happily in marriage (or so it seems), I chose to create my own happy ending. I chose solitude and the potential for healthy love over a toxic relationship.

Once I cleared myself free of those that tried to stop me from chasing my dreams and reaching my fullest potential, I allowed myself endless possibilities ahead of me.

Don’t be afraid.