Learning That I Have A Deadly Disease
February 26, 2018
Rebecca Rodriguez

I was having pains and aches throughout my body. I was feeling tired and weak. I didn’t have the same Joie de vie, and motivation to get up and conquer the day like I once did.  I didn’t want to believe that something was wrong with me. I was strong, I was super active, ate healthy and everything had always worked out for me. I sort of felt that invincibility fable that all of us young people do, you know what I’m talking about? Like, how could anything possibly happen to me?

I tried to convinced myself that I was just stressed and overworked and that it would simply pass in a few days. But a few days, weeks, and months went by. I still tried to believe that everything was fine, but I knew it wasn’t. My entire body was falling apart.  I had no choice but to go to the doctor and see what’s happening.

I couldn’t believe my ears.  I was diagnosed with a rare disease and was told that most people don’t live a very long life. The doctor didn’t have any specific numbers for me, but apparently, people just get worse and worse over time. He warned me that I would have a difficult future ahead of me. I didn’t know how to react, how to feel, what to do, what to say. I tried to pinch myself and get out of this crazy nightmare. I cried, screamed, wept punched some walls, and cried some more.

I told my boyfriend immediately to leave me. I didn’t want him to have to go through such a difficult and rough life. He didn’t deserve that. No one does, but especially not him, such a good soul. He told me I was ridiculous, and that he will always love me and stand by me no matter what. I tried to fight him on it, but he wouldn’t give up on me.

We’re getting married in a few months and he has taught me so much about life. We can’t live in fear, and we have to always make the most of what’s in front of us. I can’t wait to spend the rest of however long I have left with him. He has taught me to stop crying about what I’ll be losing, and focus on what I have right now.  Maybe fate will help me defeat the odds, and I’ll be able to see our children graduate college, get married and meet my grandchildren too.

The most difficult thing I’ve had to face in my life has made me the strongest person possible.  I have learned not to fear life, but to live it to the fullest and make every day like it’s my last.

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