Learning To Say No To Myself
September 2, 2019
Alexandra Wade

Not too long ago, I wrote here about managing your time more efficiently. However, as much as I hate admitting it, I am backsliding. I thought that if I’d put everything on the table and know just how important it is, I’d be able to work it out and fix it. Sadly, I was proven wrong. That got me thinking: how can I preach what I don’t practice?

I thought I managed to get control over my issues with time management. However, as time passed, I couldn’t maintain it. Arranging my time continued being a difficult task for me. After a while, I decided that I have to dig dip into myself and try finding the source of my issue. What I discovered is that I have to learn to say more no.

I know that this is rather surprising after many women, including the brilliant Shonda Rhimes, spoke on the importance of saying yes. However, in my case, what I needed to say and hear was no. I’ll admit, I have a serious issue with delaying gratification. I find great difficulty in postponing things that I want to do. I can’t seem to prioritize my duties correctly.

It’s been this way since I can remember myself. It’s hard for me to stop wasting my time over non-important matters. In high school, for example, I remember how I wasted my time watching T and reading magazines instead of studying for my tests. I always delayed and delayed it, resulting in me studying till late at night a day before the test. It always bothered me, it still does.

It was important for me to open up about this too. It’s easy to only focus on the good, but the reality is that it’s not all perfect. It’s important to notice our backsliding and working on getting back on track. I haven’t given up yet. I will keep fighting and working, and I hope you will too.

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