Life Isn’t A Fairytale
June 20, 2020
Jade Kerr

When I was a little girl, I loved reading fairytales. From Cinderella to Snow White, I fantasized about being a princess and riding to the horizon with my knight in shining armor. Looking back at this time of my life, I can say that my love for fairytales has negatively affected my romantic life. See, fairytales always end with the saying: “And they lived happily ever after.” Being a little girl, I interpreted it that the princesses never fought with their beloved. I thought it meant they stayed and lived in eternal bliss. Unlike in fairytales, the couples I saw on TV and in the movies who argued ended up divorced, drunk, or unfaithful. They all seemed unhappy and miserable. These contradicting portrayals made me believe that a good relationship meant living in eternal bliss and that if my partner and I got in a fight, we were doomed. Now, looking back, it’s safe to say that this mindset harmed my romantic life.

 

A woman understanding that fighting is a natural part of a relationship.

Getty Images/ EyeEm/ Vera Arsic

 

Having such an unrealistic expectation, set me up to fail in many of my earlier relationships. I feared to fight with my partner, so I sied away from confrontation. I didn’t always express my opinion, surrendered to my partner’s wishes and desires. I wasn’t myself. It was a long time of living like that, of loving like that, before I realized that arguments and dissatisfaction at times is a normal part of every relationship. I am allowed to argue. I am allowed to express my opinion, even if it contradicts my partner’s. I am allowed to know what I want and stand for it. Disagreements are natural in any kind of relationship – there’s no way around it. The trick is to come back from it stronger than before; to tackle an issue and talk it through. As I wrote, fighting is inevitable. We have to understand that life isn’t a movie or a fairytale, fighting is a natural part of any relationship, and it doesn’t mean it had come to an end.

 

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