My First Heartbreak
June 28, 2019
Ariella Jacobs

There is no escaping it. Unless you happen to be one of those who ended up marrying their first love, most of us have to go through the dreaded first heartbreak. It is difficult. It seems like life comes to a halt and there’s an inability to move forward. Of course, after a while, you understand that it is utter nonsense. Unfortunately, that realization comes only after the fact. My first heartbreak wasn’t easy. It took me a decent amount of time to get over it and leave it in the past, where it belongs.

 

I am not talking about the boy you dated for a hot second in the tenth grade and thought you really liked. I’m talking about the first real, true heartbreak.

 

I met this guy at a party. I had just graduated from high school and was about to start my first year at UCLA. He was in his second year there. He was charming, intelligent, funny, handsome. We hit it off immediately. Within three months we moved in together. We did everything together, from studying to traveling. The next five months flew by. Our bond was strong and there were no signs of what was to come.

 

One night when he returned home, we sat down to watch some TV. I could tell he was uneasy. I asked him what’s going on. He said he has “been thinking a lot lately”. He said he thinks we should break up. Apparently, he was feeling strangled and felt like our relationship has run its course. I was caught off guard. I had no idea what to say, how to react. I cried a lot, I craved for an explanation, a reason, which I never received.

 

After our breakup, I thought the world stopped. There was no moving on from here. How can I move on with my life? How can I forget it? What can I do to make this feeling disappear? I had to look for a new place. I had no one to turn to. I don’t have a good relationship with my family, and most of my friends were people I met through him. I felt lonely.

 

A few days later I found out he cheated on me. It was with a girl from his past that came back into his life, surprisingly. I trusted him. Even that night I asked if she was the reason, but he denied it. I felt betrayed and ashamed. I was only 18, trying to figure out what I’m doing and who am I. A few days passed by. Luckily, there was still room in the dorms. I met some new people there, and it helped a little. Only when I started dating my next boyfriend, I could actually let go a little.

 

However, in my case, it was hard to really let go of this relationship. A few weeks after our breakup I discovered I was pregnant. I gave birth to a baby girl, who is the biggest blessing of my life. Thanks to her, I managed to get past the heartbreak and the pain. Heartbreaks are never easy, especially the first one. But there always is that first horrid experience.

 

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