Nervous Of Coming Back
July 7, 2020
Claire Miles

As I opened up to you about many times in the past, I started working at a new job in September. It was a rough start and a long process, but I finally felt like I found my place there not too long ago. However, just when things went well and got stable, I took a leave of absence. I don’t regret the decision; I needed this leave to relax after a busy and chaotic year. Tomorrow, my little vacation is over, and I have to confess that I am a bit nervous about my return.

It’s not that I’m afraid that no one would be happy to see me, I know they would. But rather, it’s the fear of coming back to my work after a long time on leave. First, I’m afraid that the skills that I acquired during this time will be gone by the time I return; I’m worried about coming back rusty. See, part of the difficulties I had before stemmed from my technique not being good enough. During this time, I worked on perfecting my skill and improving. So, will this vacation send me back the beginning? Will it bring back the difficulties that I had back then again?

Second, I’m worried about the changes that are happening and might happen.┬áSee, as some of you know (because I shared it with you,) the department I work in has been through a lot lately. As you can expect during this time, there is a lot of uncertainty about many things. My department faced closure a few times this year, and I fear that my vacation denied me of some final time with the people in my department, who I love very much. Also, at least two people that I love from my department were reassigned in different departments. As a person who fears change, I worry about what might happen now that they’re gone. Hopefully, everything will go well tomorrow; promise to keep you updated.

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