Never Thought It Could Happen
February 11, 2020
Jade Kerr

As I’ve shared with you before, I often take a look back at my old relationships to learn from them. As I am currently engaged for the third time, I re-visited my two previous ones, and especially the second one. I was extremely excited for my second wedding, considering my first one was terrible. Unfourtenetly, it didn’t go that way.

My first engagement ended in divorce. We called it off just a few weeks after we wed. I felt like such a failure; I felt as if everything I had built and worked for fell apart. I was ashamed and embarrassed and was sure I was never going to be going through it again.

However, several years after that I got engaged for the second time. I was very excited to go through this experience again and wanted to believe things will be different this time around. Unfourtenetly, it wasn’t. A few days before the wedding, I had called it off after discovering my fiance cheated on me. I was heartbroken and mad, however, I wasn’t mad with him, but with myself.

After all, I vowed to myself that I am not going to let this happen again. And yet again, I found myself feeling betrayed and confused. It made me think of why I got engaged again; it helped me see that I never really wanted this to happen, but somehow let him talk me into doing it. He made me believe he will be there for me but failed to do so. He acted like he wanted this; he led me on.

Now looking back, I am happy about my unfortunate experience. Thanks to it, I can see the difference between my current engagement and my previous ones. My past helped me see how thrilled I am about the present and the future. It helped me see just how excited and ready I am to marry my fiance. I cannot wait!

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