Not Forgetting, Moving On
June 29, 2020
Ariella Jacobs

We had a great thing going, you and I. I loved you deeply, and every feeling that I had, I knew you reciprocated. You came into my life like a roller coaster, you brought excitement and adventure, but you also turned everything upside down. I guess we walked into this relationship with different intentions because eventually, we could both see we weren’t on the same page. Still, when it ended, I was destructed. For the first time in my life, I was in unfamiliar territory. See, I thought I was so good at letting go. After all, I did it in the past and have told people to do it so many times. But then you came along and changed everything.

Getty Images/ Moment/ Christoph Hetzmannseder

You were great to me until you weren’t, and you hid it so well. You had me hooked, tangled in your web of lies and manipulations. I was so deep and invested in this relationship that I convinced myself that I couldn’t leave you to deal with your issues alone. I convinced myself that I had to stay by your side through your journey; to make your demons mine to help you deal with them. I carried them for so long, even after our separation. It haunted me.

I wanted to forget about you, erase you out of mind. I had fallen so much in love with the idea of what we could become, that I couldn’t let go of the disappointing reality you left for me. To be completely truthful, I don’t blame you for what happened – I blame myself. It was me who couldn’t face the reality that was in front of me. It was me who couldn’t forget you, forget all the moments and memories we shared. It was a while before I realized that I don’t need to forget you, but rather that I need to let you go and move on. And that is exactly what I eventually did. I accepted that what happened between us cannot be changed, and I finally let you go.

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