Not What It Was Before
July 6, 2020
Alexandra Wade

My best friend from childhood and I have had our ups and downs throughout the years. Despite all that, we have always been and remained close. However, in the last couple of years, there has been a shift. After years of counting her as my absolute best friend, someone else filled the position. I don’t think there is an exact moment I can point to, but rather the result of us growing apart through the years. Before I continue, I’d like to point out that I still love a lot and forever will. However, I am scared that the distance between us has become too large. Lately, when you text or call me, I roll my eyes and wish you hadn’; every time you want us to meet up, I just look for a way to dodge it. I know that what I’m doing isn’t nice or friendly whatsoever, but it’s the way I’m feeling.

Getty Images/ ONOKY/ Fabrice LEROUGE

To be honest, I don’t know the exact reason behind this feeling. I can only assume it stems from our growing distance in the last couple of years. Again, it’s not that I hate her, quite the opposite. I can be myself around her, and we can have a great time together. I guess what bothers me most is that she is trying to resume our relationship from the place it was years ago; before we grew apart. It’s like she refuses to accept that a lot has changed since that; that we changed. Yes, we were friends during this off time, too, but weren’t as close as we used to be in the past. Thinking that we can instantly go back to the way things made me feel trapped, pressured into something. We can’t pretend that nothing happened, that we’re exactly where we were before, because that’s not true. Instead of trying to recreate the past, we have to go forward; Into the future.

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