On Needing Space
July 28, 2019
Alexandra Wade

I recently heard NASA by Ariana Grande and I connected with it on a level I didn’t expect. In the song, Grande is approaching her lover, sending the message that she needs space. The time apart Grande is referencing is something I believe is crucial sometimes in relationships. I don’t feel this subject is understood and I see it being referred to with mockery all around. So, I wanted to share my truth about needing “space” in a relationship.

Though there are is not a step-by-step guide on how to make a relationship work, many people will agree that communication, trust, and the willingness to give each other space are three fundamental rules. The latter may be debated by some, but as Richard Bach stated: “If you love someone, set them free.”

The ability to give a partner space is important for nurturing growth both for you and your partner separately and for your relationship. However, I am not talking about extreme cases. Putting too much space between you and your partner can leave one of you feeling alienated and pushed aside, while too little can be suffocating and exhausting. This is the tricky part, as both extremes, even if stemmed from good intentions, can destroy and break a relationship.

The key is to keep a healthy balance, to spend time with your partner, and enjoy mutual interests and time with yourself and your interests. It, of course, differs from one couple to another, depending on the individual’s needs. This term, which is subject to judgment and laughter, is actually a very important and legitimate thing to ask for in a relationship. It is important to talk about such feelings and be open with your partner, even early on. By establishing personal needs at the beginning of the relationship, the future can look a lot brighter.

So, what I’m trying to say is that wanting space is a completely normal thing in the relationship. I had my fair share of relationships where I felt misunderstood. I always feared the response of my partner when I felt I needed some space, afraid of how he will take it and what he will think. This fear ruined plenty of potentially good relationships for me. So, learn from experiences. Open and share with your partner, don’t be afraid of the response, care about your needs.

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