At one point, I was completely ashamed. I would never imagine sharing my personal experience on the web, let alone with even my closest friends and family.
But today, I can confidently say that I am proud, and no longer ashamed. I am grateful for everything that I went through and all the beauty that I granted with. I was shown that everything truly does happen for a reason, although it was quite the journey to get there.
I got pregnant at the young age of eighteen. Back in the day, it might not have seemed as bad, but in today’s society, it is rather young to already be a mother, especially so if you’re not married and financially stable, which was, as you could have assumed, my case.
Many tried to convince me not to go through with it, but I already had an abortion a few years ago, and it completely tore me apart.
I had nightmares every night and constantly felt guilty. I could never forget what I had done and constantly tried to imagine what my child would have been like. It was a truly traumatizing experience that I promised myself I would never do again.
I also, of course, hoped to never be in such a situation again when I am not ready, but as they say, life happens, and we can’t always control it. So at the age of nineteen years old, I gave birth to a baby girl, when I still felt like a child and was discovering myself, studying and trying to make ends meet after emancipating my parents (for reasons that I won’t get into). But to say the least, I did not have a very easy time growing up.
I did not have any support from my family and shortly after birth, my boyfriend cheated on me and I broke up with him. It was extremely hard at first, I thought I would never make it through this and that I would completely break. As if things weren’t hard enough, I was of course given no shortage of looks, judgy comments, unhelpful offers to help, and tons of shame from everyone around me.
Somehow though, my beautiful baby girl changed my entire life. She taught me so much and made me appreciate everything so much more. My baby girl is the best thing that could possibly happen to me and is the only one that has and will always be by my side. She taught me what’s truly important in life, and what love really is.
I love her more than anything, and I am thankful for everything that led me to have her. I am proud to have brought her into this world, excited to watch her grow up, to learn from her and to teach her how to be the best woman she can possibly be. She’s all I really need.