Rational Loving
May 6, 2020
Jade Kerr

Most of my past relationships stemmed from passion. I always fell over heels for these men and was blinded by my affection to them. I was so caught up in the heat and the excitement of a relationship, that I let them get away with anything. I put up with bad behavior, cheating, and so many things that I didn’t deserve but let go in the name of “love.” My relationships were all passion, all heat. They were all emotionally charged, both me and them never really thought anything through. Many things that my ex-partners and I did in these relationships had consequences, but acting from passion, we failed to see them. So, inevitably, these relationships took a significant toll on me. Trust issues and low self-esteem are just two out of many examples. But then, one day, I decided I had enough.

 

A woman thinks about whether she should follow her head and not her heart in love.

Getty Images/ DigitalVision/ Chris Tobin

 

So, I changed myself; Changed my hopes and priorities, in the hopes of leaving this painful past behind me. I thought that if I were to look for a relationship that is more rational and less heated, I would find true happiness and finally neglect my old self. So, that is what I did. Instead of following my heart, I went with my head. I went for the guys I wouldn’t normally go to believing this will lead me in the path of healthy and stable relationships. After giving it a few tries, I discovered I was wrong. I was rushing myself. I have yet to recover from my past relationships, when there I was, looking for a new one. Before I could enter a new relationship, I had to put myself together again, heal. Also, I was leading these men on; because I felt like I was settling for them. After taking the time to work on myself, I got back out there. Within a year or so, I found my current partner, and our relationship is full of both passion and rationality.

 

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