Relying on Things That Are Holding You Back
July 29, 2019
Claire Miles

My whole life I sat by and waited for success. Waited for a miracle that will save me. However, it never came. I became very frustrated and was ready to give up on my ambitions and wishes. Luckily, I didn’t. I decided to achieve all the goals I set at the beginning of the year. I did a lot of soul searching in an attempt to find what was really holding me back and keeping me from my goals. I also stumbled upon a piece from Forbes that helped me a great deal. Since I know I’m not the only one feeling this way I present to you my take on that list. I also took the liberty to add a few more insights I had. These are the things we rely on but are only holding us back.

 

Passion. People say all the time that you should find your passion and pursue it. However, our passion only holds us back. Passion is emotion-based, therefore fleeting and unreliable. You need to work hard in order to achieve your goals, whether you “feel” like it or not.

 

Trying to be liked by everyone. One of the most significant things that hold people back in life is trying to be liked by everyone. Of course, kindness is one of the noblest features one can have. However, there is a difference between pure kindness and being nice to everyone in order to be liked and approved by others. By accepting that you won’t always get along with everyone, you will free yourself from constantly obsessing and wasting energy over this.

 

Willpower. Willpower is an illusion that helps us make excuses for our poor execution. Think of the following example: you want to lose weight, but you can’t stop eating the wrong food. The question isn’t why you can’t resist them but rather what they are doing to you mentally and emotionally. What you need to do is address such behaviors, and the problem will solve itself.

 

Unrealistic expectations of self. Unrealistic self-sufficiency is a big problem for many people. You cannot do and be good at everything. In order to be truly fulfilled and not held back, you must identify what is your primary responsibility, run with it, and then outsource if and when you can. It is a good idea to hire an assistant, for example, in order to ease your daily workload. This will result in a more effective, productive, and satisfied you.

 

Expecting your circumstances to change. Many people wait most of their lives hoping for a miracle to fall in their lap before acting on or creating the change they wish to see. For example, they will wait for a better job offer before they start acting like a professional. They will wait for other people to approve their lives before they feel proud of it themselves. Don’t assume your thoughts, feelings, and actions are dependent on others. This leaves people stuck instead of changing their habits and therefore their lives.

 

Moving on to the next goal right away. A lot of people move on to achieving the next goal straight away without taking a moment to enjoy achieving the previous one. You need to be able to sit back this morning and look forward to the day ahead. Happiness is not something we earn but a state of mind.

 

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