Two years ago, in September, I started working at a new job. Getting here, to the present – two years later and a few days since I left – has been quite the journey. It was a journey filled with ups and downs, incredible highs and awful lows. It took me a long time to find my place, and at a certain point, just as it seemed things were starting to get better, they took a different turn. Yes, I had found my place and felt more comfortable, but there was a lot of uncertainty and big changes, and towards the end, it wore me out. I was tired, lacked energy and motivation – I didn’t want to get out in the morning and go to work. As time went by, I constantly set new goals in my mind, eventually promising myself I would leave after two years.
When the day finally arrived a few days ago, I was excited and thrilled. It had finally arrived. Although I disliked my job, I loved my co-workers, and they were the main thing that kept me going and gave me somewhat encouragement and motivation. So, for my last day at work, I wanted to show my gratitude to my coworkers and throw a little farewell party. I made some treats and bought lunch for everyone. I was so nervous and excited – I couldn’t believe it was happening. I didn’t know what to expect. At the gathering, there were a few people that wrote something in honor of my leaving. During that last day, everything began to shift in my mind. I was now sad and emotional about leaving, feelings that I still feel now, days after it happened.
In a way, I started remembering my time at this job in a whole different light. Gone were the feelings of resentment and frustration about my job, but sadness and longing for something that just a few days before I couldn’t stand. Even right now, as I am writing this, I feel somewhat saddened about not being at my (now previous) job. So, I am trying to remind myself of what it was like to be there, of all the feelings that I had while working there. While it upsets me that I am upset over the end of this era for me, it also encourages me, as it helps me believe that even as I look back on this time in my life, as difficult as it may have been, I will look back at it fondly. And still, I hope that I will be able to look at it for what it was, remember all the hardships I faced and everything I overcame to get to where I am now.