Self Love: The Ultimate Revenge
July 4, 2019
Ariella Jacobs

When a partner of mine broke up with me a couple of years back, I found an outlet in the form of good break up songs. Among them was Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift. In the song, Swift sends a message to her partner and (his new lover) that there is nothing she does better than revenge. I couldn’t get it out of my head. Like I’m sure some of you have felt after a breakup, I wanted revenge. I wanted to show my partner that I’m better without them. I eventually came to the realization that the best revenge is self-love. Forget about getting even, I need to focus on myself.

You see, karma will do the dirty work for you, let it catch up with them. Focus on becoming a better version of yourself. Learn how to forgive and forget, how to move on. Learn to push toxic people away from you and how to channel your negative emotions and anger into motivation. Don’t care about what others think of you. Don’t try to impress anyone. Don’t let their actions affect you. Learn that they are not superior just because they act differently or have things you don’t.

The best revenge is understanding that there is only one ‘you’, and that ‘you’ is enough. Those closest to you, who have your best interest at heart, will always love and appreciate you. Hopefully, this will also help you learn to love yourself. After all, you live with yourself. You’re “stuck” with yourself for the rest of your life. The beauty is not to see yourself as a liability, but as a project, that you, and only you, are always qualified to work on. You are your own masterpiece. And just like with art, not everyone is going to agree on it, or appreciate it, and you shouldn’t expect them to. Again, what others feel and think should never control your opinion. Nothing should ever stop you from finishing and perfecting yourself. You are your legacy.

The best revenge is learning how to let go instead of holding on. It is truly liberating. Sometimes, when we feel insecure, we tend to hold on to things that are harming, that are standing in the way of happiness. When you learn how to let go of these things, of situations and people that are holding you back and make your life more difficult, it means you’ve reached a healthy level of self-love. You’re letting go even though you don’t know what’s next, but you know that you can handle whatever comes in your way.

The best revenge is loving who you are now, and forever. Love your imperfect self.

Learn from your mistakes. Understand that you are not defined by your wrongdoings or by your past. Love your journey in its entirety, ups and downs. Understand that every person in your life, even those who couldn’t love you, are also trying to figure themselves out. Believe that you are right where you’re supposed to be and focus on making the best out of your life and yourself. The best revenge is learning how to be at peaceful bliss, even if the odds are against you.

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