She Used To Be Mine
June 8, 2020
Claire Miles

Have you ever felt out of your skin? Like you aren’t the person that you used to be? I have. I know this feeling – better than you might think.┬áThat feeling that your best days are behind you; that your best self is behind you, that the person you used to be before, is so different and distant from the person you are today. You don’t feel like yourself anymore. You must be wondering why do you feel this way, from where is it coming? Well, there’s an explanation to it, one that is both scary and revealing.

 

A woman doesn't recognize herself in the mirror.

Getty images/ Moment/ Igor Ustynskyy

 

You don’t feel like your old self because you aren’t that person anymore. You’re not the person you used to be. Your hopes and dreams, the things you loved, the things you believed in – it all changed. You’ve changed and reshaped. The people in your life, the things you’ve gone through, your new-found knowledge – it all impacted and changed you, and you can’t reverse it. I remember the first time I felt this way. I looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself, not physically, but mentally. I started clinging on to the old version of me, constantly reminding myself of who she was. I didn’t want to admit that I was changing.

 

And that is exactly what we should understand at that moment. Yes, we aren’t who we used to be, but we aren’t we are going to be either. You’re changing, in the in-between. In the in-between, we face many difficult challenges, of great insecurities, but it is also a place where the most incredible growth takes place. In it, we peel down our defenses and remind ourselves of who we are in our core, who we’ve always been, and will forever be. Eventually, you will feel like yourself again, slowly, step by step. Give it all the time it needs, be patient. Be willing to abandon your old self, and start working towards the improved person you are becoming.

 

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