Should Your Lover Be Your Best Friend?
September 7, 2019
Jade Kerr

You often hear people describe their partner as their best friends, or tell you this is a must in a relationship. However, like almost everything in life, there are a few ways to look at things. Having your lover be your best pal is no exception. While it can be the greatest thing for you and your relationship, it can also be weird and unhealthy. Let’s explore this matter together.

I, personally, fall into the former. I think of my boyfriend as one of my best friends. We manage to balance the romance and the friendship aspects of our relationship. It is full of love and laughter and revolves around fun and honesty. However, it wasn’t always like this. My past relationship fell more into the latter. I was so focused on making them my best friends, that I neglected everyone I loved. Having experienced both ways, I can give my subjective opinion. However, this is not about me. So, here is what I’ve learned.

When does it become a bad thing? When your partner is your only close friend. We cannot expect our partner to be the one and only person to satisfy all of our needs. Not only does it put a heavy and somewhat impossible weight on his shoulders, but it also sets us to disappointment and frustration when they can’t deliver. I can say from experience how unhealthy that situation was from me. It is also important to remember that privacy and space are a vital part of a relationship. It is then that your relationship enters dangerous territories.

When is it a good thing? When you re able to find balance. When you’re able to give each other space, but also be open and honest with each other. When you manage to be close enough that both parties feel comfortable enough to share and open up, it says a lot about the strength of the relationship. It also makes you more relaxed, as you are confident in your relationship, and as a result, yourself.

So, I guess the bottom line is that you need to find a balance. Make sure that you give one another space and independence. Whether it’s having different groups of friends or pursuing different hobbies, be sure of your relationship and its strength. I wish you nothing but happiness.

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