My job has completely worn me out. It has been my workplace for almost two years now, and it has been a rocky road throughout. I don’t remember many moments in which I enjoyed working there. I struggled a lot with various issues in my time there – mainly with the work itself. I don’t like what I am doing. I don’t enjoy it. Yes, I am good at what I do, but doing it frustrates and drains me. Often, when I’m there, it feels as if I’m not doing the work out of passion or enthusiasm, but instead, I am going through the motions.
From the very beginning, I had my doubts. It was not my first pick, and I lacked the passion that is so essential in this work. However, I decided to go ahead with it, as it was the safer option. It was a rocky road, filled with ups and downs and thoughts of quitting. I always found an excuse for staying a little longer or trying a little harder, but all along, it just never felt right. I honestly don’t know from where I drew the strength to push through everything and make it to now.
However, recently, as I can already see the finish line in sight, I feel like there is no strength left in me. I barely wake up in the morning, show up to work with low energy, count the seconds until I can go home, and am just going through the motions when I do my job. I have no passion. I don’t enjoy my work. All I can think about is the minute I can finally go home. That is an incredibly problematic mindset and attitude to have, as it is not worth working in a job you don’t like – for everyone. I don’t have much left until I’m done, about a month and a half. This experience has taught me a valuable lesson. From now on, I will listen more to my gut and will only practice jobs that I have a passion for.