Starting Over
September 1, 2019
Claire Miles

Life is full of changes. Throughout it, we change physically and mentally, we go from one frame to the other, we switch jobs. I have never coped well with change. I understand that change is a part of life. However, while I don’t wait still but rather move with the changer, the stress it brings with it, the uncertainty, it terrifies me.

It takes me a while to open up and feel more comfortable. So, when times of change come, I get paralyzed with fear. It takes a great tool out of me to get out of my comfort zone. Fear of uncertainty kicks in and makes me wonder if I’m not better off staying put. Understanding that now I have to start over again, meet new people, fit in in a different place, settle in, is it really worth it?

Currently, I am going through a major change in my life – I’m starting a new job. It was terrifying, this first day. All I wanted was to go back to my previous job, which I loved. I admit that it took me time to open up in my previous job as well. However, once I did, I enjoyed my time there tremendously. I loved the people, my work, everything. However, life sometimes has other plans, and I found myself at a new place, afraid.

It’s never easy starting at a new place. Meeting new people that you are not sure you will get along with. Understanding that it will never be the same as before. It is extremely difficult moving on and starting fresh, whether it is after a relationship or at the end of a career. However, I need to remind myself time and time again that this is a part of life. That I will get through this (hopefully).

I truly hope that it will get better, that there is, in fact, a light at the end of this tunnel. I need to remember that for me it always takes time, that it’s still just the beginning. Things may never be like they were before, but isn’t this just how life works?

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