Still Searching For Something
April 22, 2020
Ariella Jacobs

When I broke up with my ex of several years a while ago, I expected my life would change in an instant. I was locked up in an unhappy relationship, always looking for ways to liven it up, to no success. I was so afraid of being alone that I stayed, which I regret to this day. Until one day, I finally had enough. I collected myself, gathered my strength, and broke it off. It wasn’t easy and took a lot out of me, but I did it. I was convinced that after the fact, I would feel differently, more liberated, happier. Unfourtenetly, that wasn’t the case.

via Pexels

I was sure all my troubles would simply disappear; That all of a sudden, everything will fall into place. I expected to find myself again after getting lost in a relationship that held me back. I didn’t know who I was anymore, lost any sense of direction in my life. I was so confused, so, mistakenly, I believed jumping into a new relationship would solve everything. As you can probably understand, that was a catastrophic choice that made me even more confused. There I was: lost, in my mid-20s, looking for a sense of direction and purpose in my life.

I was still searching for something, searching for myself. I was jumping from one relationship to the other and never took the time to focus on myself. I had no idea what I was going for, where I was heading. So, I decided to take some time to discover myself again. I broke off my new relationship and went on a trip, just me. On my trip, I finally made some time for myself. I used this time to refocus on my future and wants out of life. I decided to pursue a different career route; started taking better care of myself and loving myself again. We are all constantly searching; Searching for ways to develop ourselves, to challenge ourselves, to grow. We should never stop searching because what we find makes it all worth it.

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