Taking A Break From Searching
June 27, 2019
Alexandra Wade

I’ve spent so many years searching. Searching for my plus one, my missing piece, my forever person. I dedicated so much of my time, of my power on the search that I forgot to live. I forgot to check on myself. And besides, everything I found along the way, wasn’t worth it. So I decided to take a break from searching and focus on life.

I am starting to believe that true love comes when you least expect it. So I am done. I am waiting for the universe to do its part while I finally get a chance to live. To breath. I was searching so desperately, I found myself settling for less than I deserve. I found people who were broken, didn’t know what they want from me or themselves, or simply people I didn’t really want. Just scraps I found along the way.

I always fell for the unavailable ones that didn’t care about me enough. I need this break to figure out what I want, but most importantly who I am. I need to take this time out to focus on loving myself, learning who I am. How can you know what you want without knowing yourself? How can you love anyone before you learn to love yourself? I need to figure out my issues and resolve them with myself.

Taking a break doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you know how to prioritize things correctly. You should always be your number one priority. I feel I need this break, and this is why I’m taking it. Listen to yourself. Listen to your gut and intuition. They are there to protect you. You can be your worst enemy. when you follow your needs and wishes, you’ll most likely find what you’re looking for. You know ‘you’ best!

So here I am, making a decision to sit a bit on the bench. To grow. To evolve. To learn about myself and about the world around me, things I neglected in my desperate search. So I’m waiting, for now at least. Waiting for the world to do its course. Whatever is meant to be, will be. And who knows, maybe the world will do the hard work for me and will send me the one I’m looking for.

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