The Fight Is Far From Over
March 20, 2020
Ariella Jacobs

Love isn’t supposed to be a fight. However, not too often, we may find ourselves in a battle. Usually, we fight to prevent the ending of a relationship, to hold on to our loved one. Unfourtenetly, the outcome of this battle isn’t always successful. In these types of situations, we have two choices before us. We have to choose whether we fight or flight.

I am no stranger to that feeling. In my past, I dated a guy who I adored. He was about two years older than me, and I was certain he was the one for me. So, when he broke up with me one day out of the blue, I was shocked. Never in a million years would I have anticipated it. From that moment onward, I lost my focus.

When he broke up with me I was sure this is it for me. There is no way I’ll ever find someone that I’d love as I loved him. I tried with all my strength to get him back, to show him that I love him and miss him. I was so focused on him, that I lost sight of everything else. Trying to earn him back consumed and took over almost every piece of me.

I felt humiliated when he left me. Here I was, the first year of college, pregnant, and dumped. For me, this was the lowest point of my life. I could barely get out of my apartment; couldn’t face my friends and family; I constantly felt sorry for myself. I didn’t see them that I was actively keeping myself low. Stepping outside, or meeting my friends and family, would have lifted my spirit. But instead, I chose to avoid it all and just feel sorry for myself.

I learned that sometimes love is a fight. Whether with ourselves or our partners, it’s not always easy to maintain love. When it does reach an unfortunate ending, we still have to fight. We have to fight to love ourselves and others again. There is a quote from an episode of Grey’s Anatomy that I took as a life lesson and fits perfectly with this scenario. The quote goes: “All you can do is be brave enough to go out there. You loved. You fought. You lost.”

So, please, keep on fighting. Fight until you won’t lose.

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