In the same way that we all like and dislike different things, we are attracted and deterred by different qualities that people have. And just like we all have different traits and qualities that make us who we are, we also have different ways of communicating. Since communication is key in relationships, it’s super important to express love for one another. But since not everyone expresses love in the same way, it can sometimes be a bit tricky communicating this love.
The way we express and receive love can be described as our ‘love language’. Broadly speaking, there are 5 types of love language. The first and most popular is ‘quality time’. This means having the full undivided attention of your loved ones, without any distractions taking them away from you. It makes you feel important to them to have them focus only on you. The next popular ones are ‘words of affirmation’ and ‘physical touch’. While physical touch doesn’t just mean sex, it also includes light touches, hand-holding, or even a massage at the end of a long day. For people with this love language, even simple cuddling can convey warmth and safety. Words of affirmation are when affection is expressed in words. In addition to verbal kind words and encouragement, love notes and cute texts will also make this person’s day.
For someone whose love language is ‘acts of service’, they feel loved and appreciated when someone does nice things, no matter how small. This can be as simple as helping with housework or running some errands. Essentially anything that helps ease the workload. The final love language is ‘giving/receiving gifts’. This means emphasizing more on thoughtful and personal gifts since generic or belated ones could upset them. It’s more about the time and effort that went into a gift, rather than the gift itself. There are a few quizzes you can take online to help you identify your love language. You can also simply ask yourself a few questions about what makes you feel more loved; when your partner does the dishes or holds your hand in public? Once you know what your love language is, sharing this with a partner can help open more lines of communication, and help you to feel more loved.