The Texts I’ll Never Send
August 23, 2019
Jade Kerr

Breakups are never easy. After spending an amount of time with someone, giving them your all, and opening up to them, it’s hard going back to normal. Getting over someone can take days, months, years or even a lifetime. Today I was scrolling through my notes app and found these text messages I wrote in an intent to send to one of my exes, which I never ended up doing. I know I’m not the only one that ever went through this. As, again, it’s difficult to just forget someone who was a major part of your life until recently. So, below are some of the messages I found and will never send:

* Can I get an explanation? I still love you, I miss you already. Can you please come back? I can’t fall asleep, can’t stop crying. Please. Even just for tonight. *

* This day seemed like forever. You were mine just yesterday. I don’t want to say goodbye to you. I miss you, your smell, your body next to me in this empty bed. I can’t sleep because I’m dreaming of you, and I’m tired of waking up crying. *

* Your friend was here yesterday and took all your things. He forgot that green shirt I always hated. It smells like you. It helped me fall asleep last night. I can’t bring myself to get out. I hope you are doing alright. If you want someone to come and take the shirt just tell me, you can always stop by yourself. *

* Even though all I want is you, my heart could never handle being left by you again. *

* I went out with my friends for the first time since you left. Everything reminded me of you. They played your favorite song and I started crying in the middle of the club. All my life people told me to never give up, but now all they say is that I need to let go. I’m just so confused, I don’t know what is happening to me. I still fall asleep with my phone in case you’ll need me. You took over me. I can’t function, this is not me. *

* You just texted me and all the progress I thought I made went out the window. *

* I just had the most terrible day, and you’re the first person I want to talk to. You are my favorite person to talk to. I wish we talked more often. *

* How have you been doing lately? I still miss you, so much. *

* How are you? I hope you are doing alright. I just passed by your street. Even though I knew it would break me, I wished I’d see you. I just need to see you again. I’m starting to forget your smell, the feeling of holding you. *

* I heard that you are happy and doing great. I’m very happy for you, truly. I just wish I was the one who made you happy. *

That’s it for now. Those were the texts I felt I could share already. To whoever is reading this, I just want to say that it gets better, really. I won’t lie or sugar coat it, it takes time. However, that time is crucial, so take as much as you need. I believe you can never get over and forget someone completely, you’ll always have a piece of them, of the relationship. Whether it’s memories or lessons. Eventually, you will feel better and manage to move forward. To reach a more complete and healthy state. You’ll get through this.

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