After going through a handful of difficult relationships, I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel my relationship is healthy and mature. Let’s be honest, I have a lot of baggage and a lot of issues. Although It took me a long time to acknowledge this, I am finally in a better place. But, now that I found the one that loves me for who I am, I fear for my relationship. I want the stability to last. I want the trust to last. I want this relationship to last. Is there a way to make sure that happens?

Well, I know many people believe they have the secrets and the right ingredients to make it happen, and I am sure that it works for them and maybe a lot of others. But, in the same breath, the same things don’t work for everyone. There is no guarantee that what worked for others will work for your specific relationship. Feelings are stronger than techniques. Whether you read it in a handbook or not, if someone in a relationship wants to call it quits, you can’t force them to change their feelings. If it doesn’t happen naturally, most likely it won’t happen at all.

I’m not saying there isn’t anything you can do in order to maintain the prosperity of your relationship, of course there are ways. All I’m saying is that these tips and tricks need to be adjusted to your relationship. Because of how personal these things are, they will most likely be beneficial in your relationship alone. People and relationships are different and come in various forms, they are more complicated than just a general step-by-step guide.

However, there is one thing I believe can help any relationship – self-love. Reading what my co-worker and friend, Ariella Jacobs, wrote not too long ago, I learned a lot. I came to the realization that I need to love and respect myself. To know my worth. It’s something I do very often, I belittle myself. Even in the introduction I wrote just minutes ago, I wrote how insecure I am about my current relationship due to my unfortunate record, and that is something I need to learn to leave in the past. I need to understand my worth and know what I deserve. I believe once you learn to love yourself, a lot of things become clearer and easier. It helps a lot in a relationship. Once you know how to love yourself, you can love others as well, and isn’t that all you can hope for?